How I Live On $25,000/Month In New York City

Sam Parr

My wife is insane about this stuff. She has a drawer full of coupons. So, we went to Costco this weekend because we had a $20 off coupon or something like that. We still use coupons, or coupons... Alright, what's going on? This is Sam. Sean's out with some surgery. I've been telling people he's getting a nose job. I don't know if that's true, but let's just pretend it is. Anyway, we are doing a quick 10 or 15-minute Q&A session. I asked some of the listeners and some of my Twitter fans what type of questions they had for me, and we'll talk about it. Let's get into it! So, alright, what's the first question? What do we got?

Arie Desormeaux

Let's start with one that's really timely. You're about to be a dad. Someone's asking, "What is top of mind as you become a dad?"

Sam Parr

so I'm gonna have a child november 1 that's the due date we'll see a little girl what so in preparation of having this baby I was like freaking out about like just the actual like the physical her physical well-being of raising her and so I read the biography of lewis and clark because I remember that sacagawea had a kid like on that journey or something like that and so I wanted to read the book and so it turns out she had a 3 month old that she carried like in a little sack across america for 2 years in like you know in the winter and that kind of like encouraged me like I'm not gonna hurt this baby so I'm not too worried about that I would say the biggest thing though that I am freaked out about is raising a spoiled kid and raising a kid that's gonna be a drug addict I'm very like like that like I I genuinely have like a deep fear in me and so I've been trying to figure out how do I like in a very healthy way withhold things from her like how do I not give her what she wants just in order to instill some types of grit because the sound's gotta douchey but I can give her anything she wants like in terms of like physical stuff and I'm really freaking out about how do I stay strong and not give her what she wants in order to create grit and how do I make sure that she's not spoiled and works hard but my biggest fear is raising like a kid who is freaking out over that or or or who like just it feels like she doesn't need to work and so my current thinking this has not been settled but my thinking this is just me not my family me is the only thing that I'll pay for is free tuition and free medical for life and beyond that give her nothing that's kind of like my current thinking that's what I had growing up my parents paid for my school and I never had to worry about getting braces or anything like that and that's kinda like where I am now I read the titan by john rockefeller and he was the richest person in the world and his wife has this famous quote where she says something like the biggest joy that I have in life right now is withholding from my children things that they want because I know it's gonna make them stronger and I'm kind of in that camp at the moment on how to do that but I I don't feel very confident on the right way that I'm gonna do that but my fear is the outcome of a drug addicted indulgent child who won't work hard that that's my biggest fear at the moment and so I'm preparing by like getting my mind right on how to like withhold things from her and not give in because I do give in to a lot of things is that a good answer you have kids am I am I

Arie Desormeaux

I'm a very withholding mother, so I totally get... And speaking of you being *effing* rich, this is the next question that I personally am curious about: What's the biggest difference in your lifestyle now that you're *effing* rich?

Sam Parr

I have nothing to do with picking these questions I just wanna say that I hate talking I I don't like that topic but I will discuss it so basically before I sold my first company I my 4 years of salary leading up to it was 20,000 a year 20,000 a year I think I paid myself a 150,000 a year and then the last year I think I paid myself $350,000 a year so for the first while I didn't have a lot of money I was I was I I didn't have much and then all of a sudden I sold a business and I I had enough at first I did something that I advised everyone not to do which is I bought a few things I bought some real estate I think that I bought a fancy car I think that that brings close to no happiness and might be one of those things that you have to go through in order to to truly appreciate but I think that if you do have a windfall you likely shouldn't buy anything crazy fancy for the 1st year or 2 and just get used to it but I've also learned there's this like story about the study about these people who have studied amputees and they found that after 6 months the level of happiness went back to where they were when they had both legs so you you you get hurt you lose your leg you're bummed for a little while after 6 months you go right back to feeling as good as you did with 2 legs that kinda happens when I think when you make some money but the biggest thing that it did was not what it could purchase you but the biggest change is my confidence my confidence went through the roof I'm incredibly confident in my ability to start something and to see it through to be a success I don't think that I have the confidence where I think everything I'm gonna do is is gonna be a success I think I still have paranoia that I'm gonna lose everything and I still have massive fears about going broke that is something that my therapist and I are working through still but it hasn't changed significantly I think that someone had asked a question about monthly expenses before I sold I think I was spending anywhere between $10,15,000 a month my apartment at the time was $4,000 a month I thought that was astronomical I had a girlfriend my wife now we live together so it was 2,000 each and I was like that is insane $2,000 in rent I can that is just like that's evil I thought now when I rent the place it's a bit more it I you know 10 or 12 or 13,000 sometimes when I go to new york for the summer and so I increased my rent price my home that I live in in austin I paid $900,000 for it so my monthly not or my monthly mortgage and taxes I think it's 5,000 or or 6,000 somewhere in between that with taxes and so I think I increased my spend from like 10 to 15 a month to like 20 to 25,000 a month maybe 20,000 a month when I'm not in new york so I don't spend what I think is a significant amount of money I don't have any car payments I have 2 cars a tesla and a mercedes those are paid off I have a cleaning lady who comes once a week that's a $120 a week I do some health stuff so I have a fancy gym and I go to fancy doctors collectively that's $1,000 a month I don't own any jewelry I'm I wear I'm wearing a fresh clean tee it's a $10 t shirt I wear those constantly so I don't buy a lot of fancy things so my burn I think is relatively low when I go out to eat I don't look at prices and when I go to whole foods I buy the fanciest stuff and that's basically besides that I budget everything else out and so like I have my wife is like insane about this stuff she has a drawer full of coupons so we went to costco this weekend because we had a $20 off or something like that coupon so it we still use coupons or coupons but it has not changed significantly I guess one significant thing I hate flying I do not like to fly at all so typically if I have to go somewhere even if it's like 12 hours away I tend to drive I do not like to fly when I fly now I fly business class and so that makes a $300 flight $800 something like that but my increased expenses rent went up business class but I don't fly often and then my home doesn't have fancy furnishing my whole house costs $30,000 to furnish so it hasn't really changed significantly other than my confidence my confidence has changed significantly the idea of like creating something from nothing that changed significantly how was that did that answer those 2 questions

Arie Desormeaux

Loved, loved every minute of it! So now you can get out of the hot seat on your personal life, and I'm going to throw to you that this was the most liked question: What were your alternative business ideas if you didn't do Hampton?

Sam Parr

so I I'm I think I mentioned this last podcast there's this thing called ikigai that I'm totally bought into I'm very fascinated with japanese culture japan has this like this philosophy where I think I said it last time it was like a venn diagram of like what the world wants what the world wants to pay for what you're good at what you love doing I try to find something in the middle one thing that I'm obsessed about is data and numbers I really am like I if you search if you go to my personal blog which don't judge I started when I was 21 and I quit blogging there but I used to have this document called the ceo document and I tracked 100 and 100 of people I read lots of biographies and I tracked when they're born when they started their apprenticeship when they found success and then like what the success was and I made these like in-depth databases I'm obsessed with databases I'm obsessed with researching things so I have hundreds of pages pages of my notion document where I deconstruct how different companies work so I thought about creating a research company or a database company the the the reason I didn't start it was because I couldn't find an appropriate problem to solve for so I have all these databases of information and I like to analyze them and figure out what they mean but I couldn't find a good use case or I couldn't find a reason why people would pay money for it other than it's interesting but I sought out like for 6 months like different companies in the space and I couldn't figure out the right like go to market strategy so I wanted to start a database company or a research company because I love it I thought about starting a media company I do have a non compete so I can't start like a business news email for another 1 year I think and so I couldn't do that and so I kinda fell into hampton because I thought it was a it was perfect in my little icky guy it was like what I'm good at what the world wants but I was really obsessed with research businesses we just had jason janowitz at the pod this episode will go live but he came the episode before this I asked him a lot about research businesses I think they could be really big I also think that there's not a lot of like young ish entrepreneurs attacking that space because it's a pretty stodgy old space that hasn't had a significant amount of innovation and I'm very but I'm very fascinated by it so research in database businesses is what I wanted to do one of my favorite examples is cb insights I love cb insights I love pitchbook I love those companies and I wanted to build something like that

Shaan Puri

Alright, I gotta tell you about one thing that's one of the great joys of my life. I'm not a car guy, and I'm not a watch guy, but there's one thing that gives me a lot of joy, and that is having a virtual assistant. Here's the scenario: I'm running my companies, and even though I'm supposed to be this CEO, we all know I spend 20-30% of my time just doing random, tedious stuff that is not high value. It's just the stuff that has to get done, but it doesn't require my creativity, and it doesn't add a bunch of value to the business. It's just stuff that has to get done. That stuff is what a virtual assistant does. Just this week alone, I lost my wallet, so she goes to the DMV website, fills out a bunch of forms, and gets me a new license. Or, you know, every morning, while people have their morning coffee, I have my morning metrics. My morning metrics are basically all the business metrics that I care about compiled. She goes, finds them from all the different sources, puts them in an Excel sheet, takes a screenshot, and texts it to me. So when I wake up in the morning, I don't go on Twitter or check my email; I'm looking at what the metrics are and what I need to do. I'm just focused on the right things. So, having a virtual assistant is a no-brainer. Whether it's travel booking, managing your email inbox, or just knocking stuff off your personal to-do list that would have lingered there forever, I think it's a no-brainer. If you're a business owner, you should definitely do it. I think one of the best places to find an assistant is Shepherd. So go to supportshepherd.com. I pay my assistant, I think, $8 an hour, something like that. That's double what she was making in her previous job, so it's a win for her. For me, it's super affordable. You don't need to have the biggest business ever or be the biggest big shot in order to afford it. It's amazing. I now do this for my COO and my CMO too. I just give them assistance without them even asking because I know it makes them more productive. It does that for me, so of course, it's going to do that for them too. So go to supportshepherd.com, check them out, get an assistant, and tell them I sent you. They'll take good care of you if you do that. So, supportshepherd.com, check it out.

Hubspot

Our software is the worst. Have you heard of HubSpot? See, most CRMs are a cobbled together mess, but HubSpot is easy to adopt and actually looks gorgeous. I think I love our new CRM. Our software is the best. HubSpot: grow better. Okay, this next question I love, although it's painful for me even to ask it because it really cuts deep. This comes from Omar: "What was the most painful thing someone told you and how did it change you?"

Sam Parr

okay I saw that question and I was trying to think of a good answer my answer is boring so my best friend his name is neville madora I met him because he had a great blog on copywriting and 1 year in 2013 I think it was 14 I cold emailed him and I said neville my name is sam I'm gonna host this conference and I want you to come speak and I'm gonna pay for your flight and I'm gonna take care of your accommodation well the conference was really like 15 of my friends hanging out talking and I bought him a $250 southwest flight and he slept on my couch and we became best friends after that and when he was there at my in my couch I gave him a towel to like take a shower and it was like a moldy towel and he was like dude you are disgusting you're acting like this bachelor 23 year old which you are but like you need to be a man you need to get your act together this is disgusting and I remember that changed my life when he and so I like got together some of my like my my domestic skill set I also like I was like I need to act like a man I need to dress better I need to like be more appropriate like I gotta get I gotta get my act together so that helped me a ton he also neville does this a lot he criticizes me all the time but in a really nice way where like I'm gonna tell you this because I love you but I'm gonna give you feedback and another thing was when I met this woman that he was like dating or maybe one of his friends I think it was one of his friends he was like you're asking way too many intense questions the first time you meet someone you need to chill and quit talking about work and that was like painful to hear because that was my identity and so that changed how I had conversations and so he's done a good job neville's 8 6 years older than me so he's kind of done a good job of like being my brother a little bit and like teaching me how to like act like a man so that was like a good thing I remember when I started my first company the hustle and this ceo of a large multibillion dollar media startup that everyone knows I'm not gonna call him out he told me I go I'm gonna start this thing called the hustle I think it could become a huge thing he said this will never make more than $1,000,000 a year just come and join my company and I was so hurt because I admired this guy so much and my admiration for him turned to hatred not really hatred but like rage I was like I wanna like I wanna destroy you now and the reason I thought that was because I was so hurt my feelings were so hurt this guy that I admire just totally shit on me and he was wrong but I believed him for like 6 months I like doubted everything I was like this is stupid but he told me that he won't even remember saying this this guy by the way he probably made he thought it was like an offhanded comment or that something like that but it hurt my feelings so badly that I remember that like terribly and then the last thing was like anytime a girlfriend has ever like broken up with me that like that has always like stung me I'll I'll I'll I'll remember that for for decades like I'm still like trying to like prove them wrong so like I'm pretty sensitive to like rejection

Arie Desormeaux

yeah for sure the most painful moments always come from high school I think everyone can agree with that

Sam Parr

Yeah, like high school and college girlfriends, where you're still trying to figure out yourself a little bit. They get it, and they're right; you're not doing things the right way. But when they're rejecting you, it's like the most painful thing ever.

Arie Desormeaux

Girls are so brutal. Okay, this next question is from Caitlin: What is one trendy business model you think is overhyped?

Sam Parr

I think the NFT and the Web 3 stuff is just complete nonsense. I believe it's inferior entrepreneurs slapping their Web 3 name on crap that no one wants and hoping that it's going to work. But everyone knows that now. I think what's overhyped is starting a newsletter. It's really popular right now, but most people don't realize it is a treadmill. It is very challenging to create new content. Just like this podcast, it's hard. This is a hard job. I like it because I think I'm good at it, or I'm decent, but it is very challenging. Any type of content business is very, very, very hard to do for like 2 or 3 years. The newsletter space is significantly different than when I started. It is way more competitive and way more challenging. So I think that is a bit overhyped, although I would still start one because I like it. I think that most of the people in the space are not going to work, and their content stinks because it's just a rinse and repeat of what already has existed. So I think that's quite overhyped. I would say getting popular on the internet can be awesome because you get an audience. But in general, I think that creating businesses based on getting popular on Twitter and Instagram and things like that is incredibly empty feeling for most people. I think it's complete nonsense, and your time would be better spent building a company or focusing on your family than getting popular on social media. I think it's empty. I think that it's like small boy stuff. I just find it incredibly uninteresting, and there are many days that I regret trying to become popular on the internet.

Arie Desormeaux

okay are you up to do one more

Sam Parr

we'll do one more

Arie Desormeaux

Okay, this one comes from Jared Siedle. He is moving to San Francisco and is curious about the idea of **proximity to power**. He’s moving to SF with the clear intention to start a company and surround himself with high achievers. His question is: "What did you do when you arrived, or what did Sean do when he arrived in SF to start laying the foundation to meet interesting people and business builders?"

Sam Parr

moving to a big city when you are young and have no family I think is absolutely awesome my time I lived in sf for 8 years I got angry at the government and I left because it was dangerous otherwise I would still be there in a heartbeat I have no problem paying the high taxes in order to live there I think it's a beautiful place I would still even go back there today if my wife wanted to maybe so 100% worth it I loved it what I did when I got there was I went to meetup.com and I went to crazy amounts of meetups I also did I started an event so I created it's so funny cieva kosinski so cieva is one of my best friends cieva has a business that does like close to a 100,000,000 a year in revenue we've had him on the pod you guys maybe have heard of him he so I created this book club called the anti mba and the idea was we're gonna read 1 book per month and we're gonna break it up into quarters so week 1 we're gonna read a quarter and discuss it week 2 the the second half or whatever and I would have an expert come in on the book's topic and we would just shoot the shit on with like 30 or 20 people on this book and I posted ads on craigslist on meetup.com and where else I think I bought an ad in the newspaper for like $200 like I just posted these ads and siava was one of the people who replied and after doing that for every week for about a year I had an email list of like 2,000 people who were like following this book club online because I would write out my notes from the the meeting and doing that book club changed my life so I just hosted a book club and it was awesome it was so good it was such a fun way to meet interesting people and that so that's what I did in order to meet interesting people is we just read cool books and we brainstormed and talked about them most people by the way didn't even read the book they just wanted to talk about it because I wrote notes ahead of time on like I wrote a summary on the book so that changed my life the way that I met sean was I had this event called hustlecon and there was this article in techcrunch about monkey inferno which was this incubator that sean ran and I saw a picture of the his office and it was magnificent and I cold emailed sean and I said hey man I'm hosting this event can I host the pre dinner at your office we'll we'll take care of all the food I'll even hire someone to clean it up but can I just like host it at your sick office and in exchange you can come to the dinner and meet all these wonderful speakers and attendees and he said yes and that's how I met sean and so I think what I did what I think more people should do is you just reach out to tons of people and I would say don't even reach out to like ballers or people who are like ahead of you find other peers who seem like they got the juice who got the the charisma or who have who seem like they're going someplace like for me it was ryan hoover ryan hoover started this thing called product hunt we were buddies before he even started it and I've got lots of friends that are now incredibly successful where we were just all like losers who were ambitious but we had nothing and and I did a good job of like cold emailing those types of people and we hung out a lot and we just I I became wonderful friends with them and it was through my book club it was through cold emailing twitter wasn't popular I didn't even have a twitter back then so I just cold emailed tons of people and I would highly recommend that's what you do is find peers who you think are gonna go places and you guys all try to succeed together and you try to be pretty selfless in the sense of like like when I hosted my events they all volunteered to help me out when they needed something I helped them and so just like succeeding together I think was a really big deal now the issue is that that takes like 10 years or 15 years but it's worth it and you're not doing it just because someone's gonna be successful like I had friends who were artists and like they financially weren't successful but it was just people who were like kicking their dent in the universe and that was addicting to be around that and we all kinda did it together and that's what what I did I I had a book club the anti mba is what it was called because I was so jealous of the I I didn't go to a fancy school I remember when I moved to san francisco I took a bus out or a train out to stanford because I was like I wanna see what this shit's about like what's what's so special about this place and I felt like in awe and I was like so jealous that I didn't know what stanford even was when I was in high school so I was like I need to create my own stanford because I'm jealous of all these people that went here and so that was kind of the idea it was the anti mba it was free and I organized it so I would suggest book clubs meetup.com I don't know is meetup.com still a thing I bet you it is right now when I was in san francisco I went there like 6 months ago and there was and someone someone like recognized me and they go sam I love the pod we're hosting a ai meetup and a hackathon right now do you wanna come and my wife and I were like yeah let's go and so we just I go you got a car here and we were like at the farmers market and they're like yeah I was like alright come on we're I'm going with you and so we went to this guy's meetup and it was magical I met all these ai people who I knew nothing about and it was magical to be in those meetups at these places where you have like a homogeneous group of people working on something that is not mainstream it felt really magical so I I would say go to those events great stream it felt really magical so I I would say go to those events

Arie Desormeaux

alright awesome book club another thing that you and oprah have in common I love

Sam Parr

it yes so we have a lot in common me and oprah

Arie Desormeaux

So, there were a lot of other questions we didn't get to, but we'll do another one a little later.

Sam Parr

let me know if you guys like this stuff peace