Post-MeToo Dating Confusion

Logan Ury believes that modern dating faces a significant challenge where people want to meet partners "the old fashioned way" but lack the social skills to approach others in real life, particularly in the post-MeToo era where the line between confidence and creepiness remains unclear.

Key Points:

• Modern Dating Disconnect:

  • Most people claim they want to meet someone "the old fashioned way" rather than on apps
  • When asked if they're actually meeting people in real life, they typically say no
  • Even trendy social activities like run clubs aren't resulting in many successful matches

• Rejection Resilience Problem:

  • Younger daters particularly lack "rejection resilience"
  • Contributing factors include:
    • Helicopter and snowplow parents who "plowed the way" for them
    • Educational institutions that accommodated every need
    • Workplaces with lenient policies for time off
  • These factors create adults unprepared to handle rejection in dating scenarios

• Social Skills Gap:

  • People lack the skills to approach someone at a coffee shop
  • There's a "fine line between confident and creepy" in the post-MeToo era
  • This boundary remains unclear to many potential daters

• Dating Tendencies Framework:

  • Logan identifies three dating tendencies that shape how people approach relationships:
    • Hesitators: "I'll wait till I'm a catch" - people who don't think they're ready for dating
    • Maximizers: "Why settle" - people who constantly research options seeking perfect certainty
    • Romanticizers: People obsessed with the "we met" story and soulmate concept

• Advice for Different Types:

  • Hesitators need to "go from zero to one" and simply start dating
  • Maximizers need to understand they can "keep searching forever" but will miss building something with someone great
  • Having language to understand your tendency helps identify specific actions to improve dating outcomes