Satisficers Outperform Maximizers
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Research shows that satisficers (people who accept "good enough") tend to be happier than maximizers (those who constantly search for the best option), while making equally good decisions.
Maximizers vs. Satisficers
- Maximizers constantly search for the perfect option and often question their decisions after making them
- Satisficers know what they want and are happy when they find something that meets their standards
- Research from Adam Grant (Wharton professor) finds that satisficers are happier and make just as good decisions
- Maximizers may do well in many areas of life but can get "left behind" in dating due to their search for perfection
The Secretary Problem and Dating
- Based on "optimal stop theory" - a mathematical concept about how long to search before making a decision
- In the secretary problem, you should review 37% of candidates to establish a benchmark
- Applied to dating: if dating from 18-40, the 37% mark is around 26.1 years old
- After establishing your benchmark, commit to the next person who meets or exceeds it
- Many maximizers make the mistake of thinking "if they're great, I can find someone even better"
- This approach can lead to diminishing returns over time
Benefits of Early Commitment
- There's value in finding a partner when younger rather than waiting for "peak fitness and peak wealth"
- Having a partner who witnesses your journey and grows with you is "precious"
- People underestimate the opportunity cost of not committing when younger
Arranged vs. Love Marriages
- Love marriages typically start happier but arranged marriages tend to be happier around the five-year mark
- The commitment mindset of "no other choice" can lead to greater happiness
- When you view relationships as permanent rather than temporary, you invest more in making them work
- Similar to owning vs. renting a home - you invest more when you're fully committed
- Thinking of marriage as temporary (like a "cell phone contract") doesn't align with research on commitment