College Procrastination Identity

Shaan reflects on how his college procrastination habit became a destructive identity that followed him into his career.

"I used to be in college a proud procrastinator. I would wait till the last minute, I'd pull an all-nighter, I'd study, I'd pass the test, and I would wear that like a badge of honor. It became a terrible habit and sort of identity to build around - this thing of 'oh when I turn it on I have this crazy intensity, nobody can work harder than me for that seventy-two hours, but then I'm gonna crash and I'm gonna procrastinate because I know I always have that in the tank.'

It's the sort of tortoise and hare thing where you just realize that the tortoises win in life. The tortoises that just keep putting one foot in front of the other every single day, they win.

I've actually far shifted my philosophy where now when I hear about somebody who has that same attitude I used to have - the badge of honor of how hard they go and how crazy they're working - it's a sign of weakness. It's like 'oh you just don't have systems, oh you don't understand leverage, you don't have good judgment, you don't know where to put your energy so you're just putting it everywhere.'

I used to be that guy. I slept in the office when I was 24 years old. I remember I slept in the office two hundred and twenty-four days out of a year. I thought that was me grinding. Actually it was me highlighting to everyone, waving a flag saying 'I'm an idiot, I don't know what to do so I'm just here all the time just manically doing anything I could think of.'"