Three-Temperature Response Model

A framework for handling inbound requests and saying no effectively, based on finding the right temperature between cold, hot, and balanced responses.

The Three Temperature Response Model

• Cold Approach (Ignoring)

  • Simply not responding to requests
  • Can miss valuable opportunities
  • People don't appreciate being ignored
  • Least confrontational but least effective

• Hot Approach (Harsh Rules)

  • Setting strict, inflexible rules like "I don't do phone calls"
  • Comes across as jerky or arrogant
  • Too rigid and can damage relationships
  • Creates unnecessary friction

• Balanced Approach (The Sweet Spot)

  • Polite but firm declining
  • Honest about current priorities/availability
  • Examples responses:
    • "Thanks but I'm trying to do less of this right now"
    • "I haven't decided what I want yet"
    • "My hands are full right now"
  • Maintains relationships while setting boundaries
  • People appreciate getting a response
  • Leaves door open for future opportunities

Key Principles for Saying No

• Be honest about your reasons
• Don't feel obligated to provide detailed explanations
• Respond rather than ignore
• Keep it polite but firm
• Focus on your current priorities rather than the other person
• Leave the door open when appropriate
• Avoid making up excuses

The balanced approach tends to work best as it maintains relationships while protecting your time and priorities.