Polyamory From Scarcity

Logan Ury believes we're experiencing a "mating crisis" where successful women can't find equally successful male partners, leading to adaptations like polyamory, single motherhood by choice, and potentially AI companionship.

Key Points:

• The "Mating Gap" Problem:

  • Young men are falling behind women in education, employment, and earnings
  • 60% of college enrollment is women, soon to be two-thirds
  • When two-thirds of college graduates are women, half of those women won't have an equivalent college-educated man to date
  • Women practice "hypergamous mating" - seeking partners of equal or higher status/success

• Current Impacts:

  • Marriage rates are nearing all-time lows in the US
  • Fertility rates have dropped 20% in twenty years
  • Many successful women in their late 30s/early 40s remain single due to lack of suitable partners

• Emerging Adaptations:

  • Rise of polyamory: "There's just not enough great guys and so we have this crisis"
  • Women choosing between "zero of a guy or a third of a good guy"
  • Single motherhood by choice: Women hitting 40 who "didn't find the guy" using sperm donors
  • AI companionship: The growing appeal of AI boyfriends/girlfriends

• Gender Role Confusion:

  • "The genders are overlapping more where women have to be more masculine in the workplace, men have to be more feminine in relationships"
  • Men were raised to be providers but now need emotional intelligence
  • When men show vulnerability, women sometimes find it unattractive
  • "Dating hasn't caught up with the data" - people don't know how to navigate modern relationships

• Potential Solutions:

  • Men's groups where men can discuss shame and vulnerability
  • Women may need to adjust expectations
  • Men need to "raise the bar on themselves"
  • "Emotional intelligence is the new currency in dating"