Proximity is Power

The concept of "proximity is power" - getting physically close to people doing what you want to do is the easiest way to accelerate progress and achieve your goals.

Core principle

• Proximity is power - a phrase from Tony Robbins
• Getting near the thing you want is ironically the easiest way to get what you want
• It's the easiest decision you can make to move the needle furthest in your progress
• Pull, not push - being pulled into something by environment is easier than pushing yourself through motivation

Why proximity works

• You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with
• If you hang out with people who work out, you'll end up working out - it's hard to resist that flow
• Like osmosis in a biological cell - water just crosses the membrane and flows in that direction
• Total immersion works better than any other method
  • Learning Spanish: Duolingo vs tutor vs moving to Mexico for three months - total immersion wins

Real-world examples

• Poker players who got good all lived in a house with five other people equally obsessed with poker
  • They ate, slept, and breathed poker
  • Talked poker over dinner, reviewed hands constantly
  • Got better way faster than people who weren't immersed
• Moving to San Francisco for startups
  • Asked who the most impressive founders were in Australia
  • "Can I meet him?" - "No, he doesn't live here anymore"
  • Happened three times - they all moved to San Francisco
  • "That's where the people who are serious about startups go"

How to implement proximity

• Mentally commit first
  • Changed phone number to San Francisco area code before moving
  • Started telling people "I'm moving to San Francisco" with no plans yet
  • Job hunted only in San Francisco
• Take concrete action
  • Signed a lease, found a place to live
  • Flew on a one-way ticket
  • Said "this is where I wanna be in order to make that happen"

The seriousness filter

• Most people are not serious about what they say they want
• Ask yourself: "Am I serious about this?"
• Being serious means making the hard decisions
  • Breaking a lease
  • Moving somewhere you don't know anyone
  • Facing unknowns
• If you're serious, you commit and go where the serious people are

Why people don't do it

• Fear holds people back more than anything else
  • Fear of rejection, embarrassment, humiliation, failure
  • "Stress" is just code word for fear
• People prefer known pain versus unknown uncertainty
• Would rather live in discomfort than uncertainty
• Less tolerance for pain can actually help - makes you more willing to choose uncertainty over continued discomfort