Dating Is Systematic

Logan Ury believes dating is a skill that can be learned and improved upon systematically, similar to how entrepreneurs approach business problems. She sees dating as a game with rules that can be mastered, and approaches relationships with a strategic mindset rather than leaving things to chance.

Key Points:

• Dating is a skill that can be learned and improved:

  • "Dating is a skill... nobody teaches you how to date"
  • "Dating is actually pretty new in the span of human history"
  • "We don't know how to date, we don't know how to pick a partner for ourselves"
  • Many people are failing at dating because they don't approach it as a learnable skill

• Dating can be approached systematically like business:

  • The way to succeed is to understand the rules of the game
  • Similar to how My First Million podcast teaches people "how to play the game" of business
  • Dating parallels business in that both can be "systematic and process oriented"

• Practical dating app strategies:

  • Send comments with your likes to stand out
  • Comment on items lower in a profile since most men only comment on the first picture/prompt
  • Be original in your comments - avoid obvious remarks that everyone else makes
  • Show your wit and humor to demonstrate value

• Commitment mindset leads to better relationships:

  • Research shows arranged marriages often become happier than love marriages after five years
  • When you view relationships as permanent, you invest more in making them work
  • "When you think about things as temporary you just don't commit to them as much"
  • Similar to Warren Buffett's business philosophy of long-term commitment

• In-person approaches have advantages:

  • Most men aren't approaching women in real life settings anymore
  • Meeting people in person can be more effective than dating apps
  • Simply saying hi and showing confidence can work well

• Community support is essential:

  • Relationships thrive with community support
  • "We are not meant to just be married and just have this one person that fulfills all of our goals"
  • A strong community helps during challenges and provides broader social connections