Relationship Barbell Strategy

A relationship management strategy that combines lightweight interactions with deep, meaningful connections to build better relationships while maintaining time freedom.

Core Philosophy

• Avoid default 30-minute zoom calls which are "death by 1000 paper cuts"
• Replace surface-level interactions with either very light or very deep engagement
• Focus on real connection rather than settling for shallow interactions

The Two Extremes

Light Touch Communications

• Quick, casual text messages
• Single voice notes
• Random links or brief updates
• Three-word responses about accomplishments
• No obligation for ongoing conversation

Deep Interactions

• Full or half-day commitments
• In-person meetings whenever possible
• Activities like:
  • Going for walks
  • Playing sports together
  • Extended conversations
  • Shared experiences
• Focus on quality time and deeper connection
• Aim for 1-2 deep interactions per month

Implementation Tips

• Clear your calendar for full-day interactions
• Be willing to travel for meaningful connections
• Don't feel obligated to maintain ongoing light communication
• Focus on real experiences over surface-level meetings
• Prioritize depth over frequency

Trade-offs

• Not compatible with highly scheduled people
• May appear unresponsive or flaky to some
• Requires accepting that some people won't like this style
• Benefits outweigh the social costs for those who value deep connections

Key Insight

• Most people want love but settle for connection
• Default 30-minute meetings don't build meaningful relationships
• Real relationships require dedicated time and presence