Non-Violent Communication Steps

A communication method focused on managing emotions and expressing needs clearly, particularly useful for people who struggle with anger or emotional reactions in conversations.

Core Components

• Avoid judgment when communicating
• Express needs clearly and directly
• Confirm understanding through repetition
• Focus on feelings rather than accusations

Key Implementation Steps

1. Clear Expression

   • State feelings without judgment
   • Express needs directly
   • Avoid angry or emotional reactions

2. Active Listening

   • Ask for clarification
   • Have the other person repeat back what they heard
   • Correct any misunderstandings immediately

3. Emotional Management

   • Recognize when emotions are affecting communication
   • Focus on expressing hurt feelings rather than anger
   • Avoid assigning blame or making threats

Real-World Example (from transcript)

• Situation: Argument with spouse
  • Traditional response: "You're going to make me angry if you do this again"
  • NVC response: "It hurts my feelings when this happens"
  • Key difference: Expressing feelings without threat or judgment

Benefits

• Reduces counterproductive emotional reactions
• Improves relationship with coworkers and family
• Creates clearer understanding between parties
• Prevents escalation of conflicts
• Helps identify true feelings behind reactions

Note: Speaker admits this is challenging to implement and requires practice to master, especially for those who typically communicate more reactively.